Divorce

I don't think I have ever met somebody who did not want a healthy and lasting relationship. Almost everyone I know wants a marriage that lasts, yet not everyone I know has been able to have one. The older I get, the more people I know that have been divorced, or are in the process of getting a divorce.

Divorce is a sensitive topic for many. Regardless of whether or not the decision to divorce is mutual or not, it is still a difficult and painful process, especially if children are involved. A divorce researcher once said that "for a young child, psychologically, divorce is the equivalent of lifting a hundred-pound weight over the head. Processing all the radical and unprecedented changes - loss of a parent, loss of a home, of friends - stretched immature cognitive and emotional abilities to the absolute limit and sometimes beyond that limit" (Hawkins, pg. 79).

My own mother is the daughter of divorced parents, and it had a significant impact on her growing up, just as described above. She and her siblings moved with their mother to a new state, switched to a new school, and had to adjust to a completely new life. They rarely saw their father, and their mother had to work a lot in order to support them. My mother has shared many of her experiences with me, and there were a lot of fears she had to overcome to get to where she is now in her life. The fact of the matter is, divorce is not an easy thing, and should not be taken lightly.

I'm not going to sit here at my computer and tell people whether or not they should get divorced, but I do want to share a few thoughts (Hawkins, pg. 85):

1. The Lord's standards for just divorce are high, and the decision to divorce should not be taken lightly.
2. Wisdom, humility, and effort are needed in order to repair a troubled marriage.
3. Some divorces are necessary and just (i.e. violation of marital covenants - continual abuse, infidelity, and so on).
4. When struggling in a marriage, and/or in the process of divorce, seek help and support (i.e. priesthood leaders, marriage counselors, family, and friends).
5. Personal and couple prayer is always important, especially in times of marital strife. 
6. It is important to keep the Lord and His gospel a part of your daily life.

Below is a wonderful video entitled "Marriage and Divorce," released by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints a few years ago:

While not all marriages can be saved, many could be that aren't. It is my testimony that the Lord wants us to be happy, and He wants us to be able to have an eternal marriage and family, and find joy in His plan. Even if you are divorced, that does not mean you cannot find happiness or love ever again. My grandmother may not have ever remarried, but she was able to find happiness in/through the gospel of Jesus Christ. As a child of divorce, my mother has been able to overcome the difficulties it brought, and has now been married for over thirty years, has eight children of her own, and three grandchildren. Not all relationships have to end in heartache, and happiness is not out of reach, no matter what you have done, and what you have to endure.

Recommended Resources that I have read:
"Divorce" by Elder Dallin H. Oaks, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/04/divorce?lang=eng
Covenant Hearts, by Bruce C. Hafen.